Skipper Dan by "Weird Al" Yankovic

"Weird Al" Yankovic released the song Skipper Dan as a downloadable only song in 2009 as part of the Internet Leaks mini-alblum. The song is about a man who wanted to be a famous actor, but instead got a job working on the Jungle Cruise.
The Jungle Cruise is a real ride that is located in WM8KEE Hong Kong Disneyland, WM5E6 Disneyland in California, The Magic Kingdom in Florida, and Tokyo Disneyland. The Jungle Cruise is located in the Adventure Land portion of Hong Kong Disneyland. The Jungle Cruise is available in three languages: English, Mandarin, and Cantonese. When you enter the waiting area you will have a choice of which language you would like. For the best experience riding this waymark, I recommend to try and ride the Jungle Cruise at Night.
Links
Download the song from iTunes
Weird Al's official website
Follow @ALyankovic on twitter
Music Video
Watch on YouTube.com
Lyrics
I starred in every high school play
Blew every drama teacher away
Graduated first in my class at Julliard
Took every acting workshop I could
And I dreamed of Hollywood
While I read my Uta Hagen, and studied the Bard
Picked up parts and paid my dues
And got phenomenal rave reviews
I knew the world was gonna love me, without a doubt
I was sure that Tarantino would be calling me on my phone
Annie Liebowitz would shoot me for Rolling Stone
But the years have come and gone and I'm sorry to say
That's not the way that it's all worked out
I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride
Skipper Dan is the name
And I'm doing 34 shows every day, and every time it's the same
Look at those hippos, they're wiggling their ears
Just like they've done for the last 50 years
Now I'm laughing at my own jokes, but I'm crying inside
'Cause I'm working on the Jungle Cruise ride
Oh the critics they used to say, I was the new Olivier
Thought I'd be the toast of Sundance, or maybe Cannes
Ah, but don't bother trying to IMDB me,
The only place you might possibly see me,
Is riding my little boat around Adventureland,
It ain't exactly what I planned but
I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride
Skipper Dan is the name
And I'm doing 34 shows every day, and every time it's the same
I would've killed if I'd been in Speed-the-Plow
But what's the difference that's all behind me now
'Cause I'm paying the rent and I'm swallowing my pride
And I'm working on the Jungle Cruise ride
I should be there on Broadway, knocking 'em dead in 12 Angry Men
But instead I'm here telling these lame jokes
Again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again!
(spoken)
[Bengal tigers can jump over 20 feet...]
[That's an African Bull-Elephant...]
[There it is. The backside of water!]
[What have I done with my life?]
I should've listened when my Grandfather said
Why don't you major in business instead?
Now my hopes have all vanished and my dreams have all died
And I'll probably work forever as a
Tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride
Skipper Dan is the name
And I'm doing 34 shows every day, and every time it's the same
Look at those hippos, they're wiggling their ears
Somebody shoot me 'cause I'm bored to tears!
Always said I'd be famous, I guess that I lied
'Cause I'm working on the Jungle Cruise ride
I'm still working on the Jungle Cruise ride!